Where Do Babies Come From? Useful Tips To Help You Talk To Your Child Part 1

When junior drops the big question on your bulging bellies, what do you say to him or her? What do we say?

Here are 5 useful tops for parents to talk to their child about where babies come from.

1. Use proper labels

We ought to begin teaching our children about sex and their sexuality from the time of their birth. And this begins with simple labeling of their anatomy. For the record, boys have penis and not “ku-ku-bird” or a “pee-pee” or “birdy”. Girls have a vagina (and actually the vagina is only part of the female genitalia; it actually is called the vulva) and not a “wee-wee” or a “peach” or a “hamburger”. Proper labeling will lay the ground foundation for future discussions.

I bumped into my niece and nephew one Saturday evening when my sister and brother-in-law took them out for a family dinner. As I was about five months pregnant, my niece who was 4 years old jumped out of her chair and asked me excitedly, “Yee Yee (which means aunty), do you have a baby in your womb?” I was amazed at how she knew the word “womb” at the age of four!

My sister then explained that she bought a child-appropriate storybook to introduce the subject to her. My sister and brother-in-law insisted on proper labeling of their children’s anatomy and body parts at a young age and indeed has helped their children to learn properly and made it easier for them as parents to introduce the subject when needed.

2. Be comfortable to discuss the topic

Because modeling a healthy relationship between men and women is every bit as important as the actual conversations we have with our kids about sex, the first task we must approach as parents is exploring and discussing our own beliefs and feelings about the subject. Do discuss the subject between you and your spouse first, and process any fears you may have about raising the subject as honest as you can before approaching your child on the issue.

If we cant be comfortable talking about the subject between the husband and wife, how can we expect that our child will be comfortable to bring up the subject with us? Working out on our own issues as parents with our pasts and with each other about sex and sexuality will allow us to be a blessing to our children, and that we will be able to talk to our children effectively.

Think of how much less afraid our children will feel if they knew that their parents have experienced the same feelings and can model how to deal with them in a healthier way. If need be, age-appropriately, be willing to share your story and journey with them. Let them know that they are not alone, and that you wish to help them to overcome the challenges.

3. Go beyond the birds and the bees

Most parents say too little, or too late. Even if they successfully transmit information about the biology of sex, most parents considered that the case is closed and issue is resolved. They don’t realize that our children will continue to question and learn about sex and sexuality through what they observe around them as they grow up. It is very crucial for parents to take the conversation to the next level.

What I mean by taking it to the next level is to teach and model healthy male and female relationships. By doing so, this will create a vision in our children’s minds and hearts on how a rich and fully developed relationship that married couples can enjoy looks like. If you are remarried or are living alone, you can still do a good job in educating your kids about healthy sexuality. While it is good for a child to hear about sexuality from both a man and a woman at the same time, that is not always possible, even for married couples.

Taking it to the next level would also mean to take the opportunity for parents to communicate about our values about sex gently to our children. Although they may not understand or adopt these values when they are older, at least they will be aware of them as they struggle to figure out how they feel and want to behave.

4. Give accurate, age-appropriate information

“It is important to discern at what stage of understanding and maturity the child is at before deciding on how much to share.” Page, 42-year-old teacher and a mother of two teenagers 16 and 14 years old advised. This is important. Talk about sex in a way that fits the age and stage of your child. A four-year-old doesn’t need to know every detail of the sexual acts, but you can lay a solid foundation for later.

5. Whose responsibility is it?

It is a myth that only a woman can talk to a female child and only a man can talk to a male child. Some of the most wonderful conversations take place between a mother and her son or between a father and his daughter. This would illustrate to children that men and women don’t need to be a mystery to each other, and that in many ways, our sexual needs are not entirely different. Establishing a pattern of talking freely with any of your children on any subject will serve you well as they mature and will enable you to have a series of ongoing, productive conversations.

While there maybe moments that you may correctly sense that your child may wish to speak to someone of the same gender, same-sex gender perspectives can sometimes help a child, especially adolescents and teenagers, to feel more comfortable and possibly less embarrassed.

You may find it helpful to have also someone of the opposite sex, someone whom you have a mature nonsexual relationship with, to serve as a role model and guide for your child. Your parents, pastor, church elders, child’s coaches, child’s cell leaders or teachers may be excellent candidates. But remembering that you will still be the one who will have most of the conversations with your child. There is no reason you cannot be the best resource for your child. We can be effectively well equipped to answer their questions, and to support them in this journey.

source: http://thenewageparents.com/where-do-babies-come-from-part-1/

Details of KidsSTOP Unveiled

by littledayout.com on 21/02/2014 - 11:59 pm

Donning a red KidsSTOP cap, on 18 February 2014, Science Centre Singapore’s Chief Executive, Associate Professor Lim Tit Meng, used augmented reality to walkthrough the different zones of KidsSTOP, the new children’s science centre scheduled to open on 5 June 2014.

Designed to spark the interest of children aged 18 months to eight years old in science, KidsSTOP will comprise different zones and areas, centred around the four tenets of Imagine, Experience, Discover and Dream.

The Built Environment Zone will be fashioned after a bustling construction site where children can operate a mechanised crane and experience different aspects of construction. It will feature a magnetic wall with movable pipes and ramps for children to create their own structures and introduce concepts such as gear ratios and energy transfer. The Built Environment Zone is sponsored by the Building and Construction Authority.

At the Supermarket, children will be able to take on roles such as cashiers, customers, chefs and street vendors. This zone will introduce them how different food items are produced and the importance of good nutrition.

The Dino Pit will give kids a chance to become a paleontologist and search for dinosaur bones. They will be able to learn about common dinosaurs and how to classify them.

The Flight and Space Zone, sponsored by the Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore, will allow chilren to create their own flying machines and even their designs in a wind tunnel. Here, they will be able to learn the science behind flight and also role-play as pilots and ground crew.

Active young ones will enjoy scaling the Big Dream Climber, a nine-metre climbing structure with unique hanging elements such as suspended leaves, flying fish and fanciful, hanging doors. Adventurous ones can take on the Giant J, a seven-metre slide that will allow them to experience free-fall for an instant before sliding to safety.

In addition to other learning zones, facilities at KidsSTOP will also include The Party Room, an open space with a stage for performances and a room in the corner that can be rented out for birthday celebrations. Very young children will be able to enjoy Small and Smaller Worlds, a dedicated space for them that will include a Nursing Alcove.

Associate Professor Lim said, “We are very excited about the development of KidsSTOP, a dedicated facility for younger children. It will tap on their natural curiosity at a critical stage of development as they discover the world around them through discovery and play.”

Do You Make Your Employees Too Valuable Too Fast? Many of you have these jobs in your organizations.  You fill them with new (or nearly new) graduates, either from college or a particular technical school certification or licensure.  Then you expose them to a year, maybe 18 months, of intense training and development, after which they are prepared to assume a critical role and set of responsibilities. Or be lured away by a talent competitor for significantly more money. These employees could be manufacturing technicians or nurses.  They might work in the physical sciences or account management.  What they have in common - regardless of their role or your industry - is that you have invested time, energy and resources into making them very valuable, and now your pay program may be preventing you from paying them commensurate with that value.  That annual 3% merit opportunity simply won't cut it in these circumstances. Situations like this often drive a lot of fire fighting, a lot of adhoc market adjustment activity.  Unfortunately, this type of reactive approach only feeds employees' perceptions (and the possible truth) that the organization doesn't recognize how valuable they are.  That they must take matters into their own hands in order to get paid what they're worth; not a tough thing to do when the recruiters start calling. Do you make your employees too valuable too fast?  First of all, congratulations!  Likely you've invested a lot in defining the competencies required for success in an important role and you're delivering the necessary training experiences to get employees there quickly.  Well done you!  Now let's make sure you aren't undermining that investment with your pay practices. Here are a few thoughts on tackling that challenge. Gather data to understand the problem.  Start by collecting the data necessary to get a clear understanding of the nature and scope of the problem.  You might look at your market adjustment activity, information on departures, counter-offers and what can be gleaned from exit interviews.  Is this a more general and diffused issue - or is it concentrated in a particular job or job family?  Is compensation really the driving force behind quits and threatened quits, or are there other forces at work? Seek market reference points to confirm the value trajectory.  If you are indeed hiring "fresh outs" and losing them 12-18 months later, and you have confirmed that compensation is a significant factor, focus on the kind of market reference points that will help you understand the value trajectory that these employees take during the first critical years.  Career centers at educational institutions often have information on new grad job offers, allowing you to confirm the starting point.  Then try pricing the kinds of jobs to which they are fleeing.  Note that these might be very different roles in very different organizations from yours.  Use this to estimate the typical net change in value for these employees through and following their development period. Audit/adjust pay policies and practices accordingly.  If you have an employee group where, thanks to your training efforts, the market value needle is moving at a rate that "regular" merit increases - or even merit plus promotional combos - can't possibly match, you've created a poaching risk.  Time to consider carving out this job - or job family - for a different approach.  This might be a tighter series of more narrow salary ranges, coupled with an accelerated salary review process, allowing employees to move both through and up as they hit developmental milestones.  Or it might be a defined set of salary steps overlaid on a the regular salary range, allowing a rapid progression through the first 12-18 months (again, assuming development and performance milestones are met), after which they can be rolled back into the regular cycle and process.  Or something else still. How have you responded to situations where you've made employees too valuable too fast?  What advice and experience can you share? Ann Bares is the Founder and Editor of the Compensation Café,  Author of Compensation Force and Managing Partner of Altura Consulting Group LLC, where she provides compensation consulting to a range of client organizations.  Ann serves as President of the Twin Cities Compensation Network (the most awesome local reward network on the planet) and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Compensation & Benefits Review, the leading journal for those who design, implement, evaluate and communicate total rewards.  She earned her M.B.A. at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School, is a foodie and bookhound in her spare time. Follow her on Twitter at @annbares. Creative Commons image "Arrows showing up" by FutUndBeidl

Talking To Kids About Sex And Porn

Nothing makes parents more squeamish than thinking about talking to their kids about sex. Truth is, we never know when our children may ask us that question. How will you reply them when that day comes? We can start by slowing introducing and talking to their children about the different body parts, including the female and male genitals, using the proper terms.

Now imagine you need to talk to your kids about porn. With the arrival of smart phones, porn can be accessible within the palms of your child’s hand. Whether we like it or not, our kids are going to encounter or hear the word one way or another, intentionally or unintentionally. It is not ideal that kids watch or consume porn, but if they happen to, they would need adult guidance.

Clearly, you don’t want the first conversation you have with your kid about sex to be about porn. Therefore, talk to your kid about sex NOW.

With young children, sex talks involve identifying their body parts by their correct anatomical name. Reading books about the human body can also help to get the conversations going. These are body parts that all humans have, and there is a reason behind each body part. It may be very awkward at the beginning. But the more experience you and child have, the easier it will be to talk about it.

As a family counselling therapist, I have many parents calling me with their concerns, who seek for my advice when they realize their child has been surfing pornography online. Working pre-emptively about porn is a parent’s best strategy. You want your child coming to you to learn more about sex, and preferably not through friends, the internet or pornography.

Dr. Marty Klein, a Sex Therapist and Marriage counsellor from the US sheds some light about pornography. Parents can educate their children about the points below when they are old enough to understand.

• It is not real. Porn is a group of professional actors and actresses who follow a written script and play characters, just like in other movies.
• Porn is like a video game, designed to entertain.
• It is not a documentary. It has a lot of editing and it is designed to thrill.
• Porn does not portray sex the way it really is. It leaves out a lot of what most people like about sex— the emotional aspects such as laughing, talking, and feeling close. Instead, porn is mostly physical, and show bodies rubbing against bodies, which is sex without feelings.
• Porn features unusual bodies doing unusual things. Your body doesn’t, and probably will never look like the bodies in porn.

If you need additional help or guidance for your child, going to your health counsellor or psychologist will be a great place to get accurate information and advice.

By Tammy M. Fontana, Lead Therapist, All in The Family Counselling

This article was first published in The New Age Parents Oct / Nov 2013 e-magazine

a relatively short 2 hour volunteer work, could be fun for your child too

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Christmas Kettle Appeal Bell-Ringers

Assignment Name: 

Christmas Kettle Appeal Bell-Ringers 

Opportunity Available:

Late Nov - 24 Dec (Annually)

Commitment Level:
One-off, Project Basis, Regular, Adhoc

Location:

• To be advised
• Note: Do consider helping at heartland and "non-town" locations, as these areas do also require much help. Thanks.

Vol Requirements:

• Kettling is from Mon – Sat, 1pm – 9pm, late Nov - 24 Dec.
• Each kettling shift is 2 hours (starting from every "odd" hour i.e. 1pm, 3pm etc)
• 2 volunteers to a kettling shift
• You may choose to sign up in pairs with your friends or family or we will assign another volunteer to partner you for the shift
• Kettlers need to be 16 years old as at 31 Dec this year (unless accompanied by a parent/guardian, 21 years old and above)
• All volunteers will be required to be registered.
• For group/corporate volunteers, you are also welcome to adopt the pot e.g. for a day or period of time.
• Certification of voluntary involvement is available for registered volunteers upon request.
• We appreciate your help in assisting us to manage the scheduling of volunteers for shifts. Kindly consider your availability carefully to avoid inconveniences caused with last minute changes.
• Please sign up for alternate shifts with rest breaks in between (rather than consecutive shifts e.g. kettling for a whole stretch of 2 or more shifts), as this would be more manageable and less tiring. 
• For first-time bell-ringers, please sign up for one shift to try out if you like the assignment. We welcome you to return to sign up for more shifts after that.

Vacancies:

• 1000
• Individual, Group & Family Volunteers Welcome

Registration:
Please sign up at least 3 working days before to allow us to process and match you to a shift. 

1. Online Registration: Click here.   http://sav-opp.blogspot.sg/2010/04/christmas-kettle-appeal-bell-ringers.html
2. Phone Registration: Call our hotline (Tel: 6452-4093) from 4 Nov-21 Dec 2013, Mon-Fri (9.00am-12.30pm, 1.30pm-5.00pm). 

 For batch registration of 6 or more volunteers, please contact our Volunteer Resources Manager at Tel: 6555-0232,  5 Nov-21 Dec, Mon-Fri (9.00am-12.30pm, 1.30pm-5.00pm). 

Contact Person (for Clarifications):

James Lim 

Tel: 6555-0232

volunteer (AT) SMM.salvationarmy.org (replace (AT) with @ to email me) 

Registration Closing Date:

21 Dec

Opportunity Description:
The Christmas Kettle Appeal is a unique fundraising project that enables The Salvation Army to continue its work with the needy and underprivileged. Every year, staff and volunteers take to the streets ringing bells and encourage passers-by to drop a donation into the kettles. As such, we would like to extend an invitation to you to join us in this tradition and make a difference.

You can read about the Christmas Kettle story on The Salvation Army’s Volunteer Portal at http://bit.ly/bellringers. For a video on the history of The Christmas Kettle Pot (created by The Salvation Army in British Columbia), you may wish to visithttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0y3_4mlnAc. Read our volunteers' experience kettling here at http://sa-v.blogspot.com/search/label/kettling.

The Little Prince

Have always heard about the existence of the book "The Little Prince", yet have never really sat down and read the book

If you are this way as well.. below is a cheat-sheet on the story...

If Saint-Exupéry is to be believed The Little Prince is a book for children written for grown-ups. It can be read on many different levels to provide pleasure and food for thought for readers of all ages.

The author, an aviator, crashes with his aeroplane in the middle of the Sahara desert. While he is trying to repair his aeroplane, a little boy appears and asks him to draw a sheep. The author learns that The Little Prince comes from asteroid B-612 where he has left behind three volcanoes and a rose.

Before reaching Earth, he has visited other planets and met some very odd people: a king, a conceited man, a drunkard, a lamplighter, a geographer…  Since arriving on Earth, he has spoken to a fox who has taught him that to know someone or something, you must « tame » them, and that makes them unique. « What is essential is invisible to the eye, says the fox. »

In order to return to his planet and his rose, The Little Prince allows himself to be bitten by a poisonous snake: his planet is too far away, he cannot take his « shell ». The aviator, who has succeeded in repairing his plane, also quits the desert. He still hopes The Little Prince will return one day and asks us to write and tell him if ever we should meet his friend.Pour les lecteurs qui souhaitent se remémorer le livre et ses principales lignes, voici un résumé du voyage du petit bonhomme et de ses rencontres.

More about the planets visited by the Little Prince
Each planet the Little Prince visits can be seen as an allegory of human nature. If you have already read the book, we invite you now to take a new look at the different planets.

The king – asteroid B 325
In the book, the Little Prince meets a king who claims to rule over all with absolute power. His only “subject”, however, is an old rat that he hears at night. The king exercises his power over the sun by ordering it to set – but only at sunset. In order not to lose face, this oddity of a king gives only “reasonable” orders (“I order you to sit down”) – as good a way as any to satisfy his thirst for power. The Little Prince is not fooled, however, and sees the monarch as no more than another odd grown-up.

The conceited man - asteroid B 326
Wearing a hat as showy as it is ridiculous, the conceited man sees himself as the handsomest and the most intelligent man on his tiny planet. The Little Prince reminds the conceited man that he is, in fact, all alone on his planet, but still the conceited man wishes to be admired and applauded. The Little Prince is perplexed by such insistent vanity: “Grown-ups are really very odd,” he says to himself.

The drunkard –asteroid B 327
He lives alone with his collection of bottles and spends his time drinking to forget that he is ashamed of drinking. To the Little Prince, it is clear that the drunkard is deeply unhappy, and he wants to help. The drunkard, however, withdraws into sadness and silence. The Little Prince is left perplexed by this adult who sees no way out of his misery.

The businessman – asteroid B 328
The businessman is a large gentleman who is so very busy that he does not even have time to light his cigarette. He spends his time counting stars, which he claims to own. Then he writes down the numbers on a piece of paper that he puts in the bank. The Little Prince tries to make him see that he is wasting his life and that “owning” means being useful to what you own. He speaks of his rose, which he waters and protects. The businessman is left speechless, and the Little Prince once again finds grown-ups to be very disappointing.

The lamplighter – asteroid B 329The Little Prince is initially rather charmed by this character. His job is a useful one: to light the lamp at sunset. But the speed of rotation of the lamplighter’s planet is increasing all the time, and the poor lamplighter is forever putting out his lamp and immediately lighting it again. “Orders are orders,” says the lamplighter to the Little Prince who, in spite of everything, can only admire the effort this grown-up puts into being faithful to his orders.

The geographer – Asteroid B 330The geographer is an old gentleman who writes down, in thick books, the information brought to him by explorers. His planet is vast and magnificent, but he has no way of knowing whether it has rivers and mountains because “the geographer is far too important to waste his time browsing around”.  The geographer is someone who needs the stories of others in order to know things; for the Little Prince, on the other hand, it takes effort to know things. It is the geographer who advises the Little Prince to visit Earth because, he says, it has “a good reputation”.

source:    http://www.thelittleprince.com/work/the-story/

Baby Talk

I don't recall what I said when I was 3, but I definitely wonder if it is "normal" for my 3 year old to say all these strange, amusing and unfortunately "not exactly wrong" things...

mummy: this book is too difficult for you, you are too young...
3 yr old: wait, give me 10 mins... I will grow up

Goodie bags for kids' parties

http://bagagoodie.com

had a wonderful experience with them, allowing multiple customization to the goodiebags plus taking photos to show me the results after which change.  All these at no additional charge plus the price is rather reasonable, especially if want to get an odd number instead of buying in nice multiples of 10s or 12s

I will use their service again

Ice cream in a bagThis simple method for making ice cream does not require any complicated ice cream machine or even the help of a freezer.

Cookies and cream ice creamIngredients:

• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 oreo cookies crushed
• 6 tablespoons rock salt
• 1 small plastic food storage bag (e.g., Ziploc)
• 1 bigger plastic food storage bag
• Ice cubes

Directions to make it:

1. Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag.
2. Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it.
3. Place the small bag inside the large one, and seal it again carefully.
4. Shake until the mixture is ice cream, which takes about 5 minutes.
5. Add in the Oreo crumbs and continue shaking for another minute or till it’s mixed together.
6. Wipe off the top of the small bag, then open it carefully.
7. Enjoy your yummy homemade ice cream!

Freeze & Stir method

Another super simple method to make ice cream is the freeze and stir. This particular way takes a longer time to make and also the extra step of cooking the mixture but produces a creamier ice cream consistency then the ice cream in a bag.

Chocolate – peanut butter ice cream
Ingredients:

• 2 cups of milk
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup sugar
• pinch of salt to taste
• 1/2 cup smooth peanut butter

 Directions:

1. Whisk together milk, cocoa powder, salt and sugar in a large saucepan.
2. Heat the mixture, whisking frequently until it comes to a full boil (when the mixture starts foaming up)
3. Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter until fully mixed
4. Chill the mixture thoroughly before transferring it into a deep freezer-safe bowl or container
5.  Place in the freezer for 45 minutes.
6. As it starts to freeze near the edges, remove from the freezer and stir vigorously with a fork or whisk, being sure to break up any frozen sections.
7. Return it to the freezer.
8. Continue to check every 30 minutes, stirring vigorously as it’s freezing.
9.  Do this for the next 2-3 hours or till the ice cream is sufficiently frozen.