Answer 6 Questions to Reveal Your Life Purpose

Deep down inside, you know what you most love to do and how you can make your mark on the world. Get ready for some soul-searching.

Stephanie Wood  http://www.success.com/article/answer-6-questions-to-reveal-your-life-purpose

As a reader, you probably earn a good living but also define success as something more than money and the things it can buy. To you it’s a holistic concept—not just financial success, but also happiness, good relationships, and the ability to give back and contribute to society. “You need a higher purpose than just survival,” says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a Long Beach, Calif., psychotherapist and author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty. “Once self-confidence and self-esteem are established, you’ll need a challenge to feel satisfied, a way to express your uniqueness and individuality to yourself, to friends, and to the world.”

“People think they will feel fulfilled when they check off their list: getting married, having kids, buying a certain house, getting a boat, reaching a certain title or profit level in their business,” says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of Better than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love. “But happiness doesn’t come from money and success. Even celebrities who make more money than we can imagine doing just one movie don’t feel fulfilled.”

Related: How to Live Your Life on Purpose

What truly moves you and how can you turn that passion into a fulfilling mission in life? Everyone’s different, but we’ve outlined some common strategies that can lead each of you to your unique goal. Here are some key questions to ask yourself.

1. As a child and back in my younger days, what experiences were the most memorable?
What pastimes did I find most fulfilling?

“Make a list of everything that gave you pleasure” as a kid and teenager, recommends Jim Donovan, life and business coach and author of Handbook to a Happier Life. “Maybe it was playing basketball or guitar. Start small and resume those activities. Then once you rediscover that passion, look for a way to use it to help others. Maybe you can volunteer to coach a basketball league for underprivileged kids.” Donovan teaches personal development strategies to prison inmates every week. “I don’t know how to not do this,” he says. “I need the experience as much as they do.”

A sense of purpose comes from within and isn’t imposed or chosen from outside, Tessina emphasizes. “Your purpose may be your livelihood, or it may have nothing to do with how you make a living. Your purpose may be a simple one, like making a good, healthy life for yourself and your children, or it may be more dramatic and based on what you learned by your own childhood experience.”

2. Who is my idol and why do I admire this person?
The answer may or may not be a famous person. You might admire a colleague’s giving and thoughtfulness, or that he or she is so in tune with family, Lombardo says. Or maybe it’s someone really big, like Steve Jobs. An idol like that can be intimidating, but you need to take the comparison out of the equation, she says. Admire his characteristics, his vision and ability to stay focused in spite of the naysayers, but don’t try to be him. Learn from him, but be you.

3. What are my core values and beliefs?
It sounds like a simple question, but it’s far from it. We can accept certain values because we’ve been taught they’re important, but sometimes they don’t work for us. That corner office and CEO title, for example, may cripple your heart and soul. “After years of listening to others, I realized that what mattered to me was freedom,” recalls Donovan. “I didn’t want a job to run my life, and I think a lot of people feel the same way. The secret is to stop waiting for the company to make it better for you. Make it happen yourself.”

Start by making a list of values you think are important, Lombardo suggests. They may include everything from integrity to friendship, faith to humor, patience to spontaneity. Then rank each on a scale of 1 to 10. “All values are good,” she notes, “but understanding which are most important to you will help you understand what will give your life meaning.”

For those clients who may be blocked, New York City career counselor Roy Cohen, author of The Wall Street Professional's Survival Guide, encourages them to try an activity that neutralizes and contains the distractions, such as meditation, yoga or even a more dramatic option such as an Outward Bound wilderness immersion program (there’s one just for corporate team-building). “Sometimes people are in such a familiar place that they can’t think creatively,” Cohen explains. “They need to remove themselves as much as possible from their comfort zone, so that the roles they typically play are stripped away. Being on their own and relying entirely on their initiative to survive and thrive is often transformative. It may take six months of meditating plus a wilderness trip plus therapy, but collectively those experiences will produce a spark and something will emerge from the process.”

Related: What If Schools Graded Character and Values as Much as Math and Reading?

4. What causes are near and dear to my heart? And how can I use my professional credentials to help those causes?
Watch the evening news for a week or check out the online headlines: What gets you most upset? Maybe it’s the stories of child abuse or the parents working three jobs who still can’t pay their bills. Maybe it’s the lack of vaccines in underdeveloped countries that could stem the spread of preventable diseases. “Just get your feet wet,” Lombardo says. “You don’t have to find one thing and stick with it forever. Just open your mind to the possibilities and you’ll be amazed what presents itself.”

Understand, too, that it can take a while to settle on the right focus for you, so plan on doing a lot of networking and research before settling on a cause or a role. “Talk to the people who are involved in an organization or area you’re interested in: What challenges are they telling you about, what is their biggest need, how can you fit in and contribute?” recommends William Winn, Ph.D., a consulting psychologist with the Boston advisory firm New Directions, which helps professionals reinvent themselves. Think of it like transferring into a college, he says. The people and systems are already in place, unlike when everyone arrives as freshmen together. You need to figure out how to fit into that existing culture.

Many people may at first feel as if they want to get away from the tasks they perform at work, Winn says. “If they’re in a financial job, they think, I don’t want anything to do with numbers. But the reality is, the charity that you have your heart set on may really need your accounting or investing skills,” he says. “And performing those tasks for a nonprofit is going to be a completely different experience because the environment and objectives are different—you’re performing them to do good, not just to make a profit.”

5. What goals should I set for myself?
Take stock of each segment of your life, Donovan says, and write down what you visualize as the ultimate goal in each area. Include your career, family, health, relationships, spirituality and travel desires. Ask yourself: What would my best health look like? Who are the people I most want to spend time with? What do I most want to change? Write down each ultimate goal and make a habit of visualizing each one on a daily basis: you, running a marathon; your family enjoying dinner together; you and your partner building a home for the needy or embarking on a missionary trip to an underdeveloped country. “If you don’t understand and set your own goals, you will end up living someone else’s,” Donovan cautions.

Next, you need goals for the challenge or cause you’re focusing on. “I tell people to create a business plan,” Cohen says. “Since successful people tend to be metrics- and model-driven, they need to begin with research and information gathering, assess and evaluate what they have learned, and then turn that insight into a life-plan that is more meaningful.”

6. What do I want my legacy to be?
The ultimate question for anyone considering how to make a greater contribution to his or her world: How do I want to be remembered by those whose lives I touch? A simple way to get to this answer is to write your own obituary. Sometimes referred to as an “autobituary,” it’s a chance for reflection that also forces you to realize that your time is limited and to take a hard look at the way you’re spending it. “Your 30s, 40s and 50s are an intense time at work and in building relationships, and the self takes a backseat to all this,” Winn says. But when business is good and your children are getting older, it’s time “to press the reset button and ask, What matters to ME now?”

The “autobituary” exercise is a way to discover that. Just start by recording the facts, then add in others’ opinions that you would hope to be true: He was a good friend. She was a parent who really understood her children. He spent countless hours volunteering in his community. (Need more help? ObituaryGuide.com offers a free template.)

If the idea of an obituary feels too morbid, think about your 90th or 100th birthday party, Lombardo says. “Who do you want to be there, and what do you want your guests to say about you in their birthday toasts: ‘He was a loving father and husband’; ‘She donated money and time to this cause.’ Or ‘I loved working for him because he was patient and helped me learn from my mistakes,’ and ‘He always understood family was just as important as work. He was the best boss I ever had.’ ”

Whatever form it takes, “In the end, a re-examination of our lives seldom talks about money and power, but focuses instead on the ways we have all made a difference,” Winn says. Let that be your guiding principle for the next, best stage of your life.

Related: Rohn: This Is How You Leave a Legacy

Your Personal Mission Statement
Here’s a quick way to get a sense of your life’s purpose.

By reviewing the kind of person you are and the abilities that come naturally to you, even if they got you into trouble in the past, you can gain insight into your life purpose, says psychotherapist Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty. Do so by writing down a list of descriptions about yourself in each of the following categories:

Personal qualities (e.g., friendly, intellectual, a good communicator)

Your talents (e.g., painting, motivating people by public speaking, athletics, mentoring)

The circumstances that tend to repeat in your life (e.g., do you wind up teaching others, listening to people’s problems, working with children or technology?)

Your desires (e.g., traveling, cleaning up the environment, running for political office)

Then take the answer that is most important to you in each category and complete the following sentence:

I ________________ (your name) am designed to be a ________________ (insert personal quality) who can ________________ (insert talent) and I find myself ________________ (fill in recurring patterns or circumstances) often, because I am supposed to ________________ (desire).

Example:
I, the President of the U.S., (your name) am designed to be a good communicator (insert personal quality) who can motivate people through my speeches (insert talent) and I often find myself listening to people’s problems (fill in recurring patterns or circumstances) because I am supposed to run for office and improve their circumstances (desire).

Free printable mazes for kids online

http://krazydad.com/

Holly Spring Photography

Holly Spring took up photography after her daughter struggled early on in life with Hirschsprung's Disease and no left hand.  She wants to show her daughter that there are no limits to what she can achieve if she just believes in herself

via photography, she is able to have a shared activity where her daughter is actively involved.

Though the photos are amazing, I think we also need to remember that it's lots of work, lots of tiring work, to produce such end products.  Ranging from the preparation and post-editing.  I recall taking photo of daughter at few months' old, where we needed a frontal shot for her very first passport.  Let me just say that... we placed her on her bumbo seat against a white wall and ... took about 300 photos in continuous fast speed using a mirror-less professional camera (finally I found a real use for it as I always use my trusty consumer digital camera at a fraction of the weight).  After which crossed our fingers that hopefully there is a pic of her frontal view out of the constant movements...a child simply doesn't sit still nor freeze for even a split second...

Holly Spring is an amazing mother, indeed.

Literacy and Unguided Reading

Two hundred years ago, the government of Sweden changed everything: They required all their citizens to be literate. It transformed every element of the culture and economy of Sweden, an effect that's felt to this day.

Television, of course, is a great replacement for the hard work of learning to read and write, but, if you think about it, so are autocratic governments and dogmas that eliminate choice. Unguided reading is a real threat, because unguided reading leads to uncomfortable questions.

Teach someone to read and you guarantee that they will be able to learn forever. Teach an entire culture to read and connections and innovations go through the roof.

source: https://mail.google.com/mail/#inbox/1472f372eee03c2b

Doesn't this remind you of the pulping of story books?

Modern Day Parenting in Crisis: A British Nanny Explains 5 Reasons Why

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I generally am quite an optimistic person. I tend to believe that everything will work out for the best unless the evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary, and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not prone to drama. That's why when I say that modern parenting is in serious trouble -- crisis, even -- I hope you'll listen, and listen carefully. I've worked with children and their parents across two continents and two decades, and what I've seen in recent years alarms me. Here are the greatest problems, as I see them:

1. A fear of our children. 
I have what I think of as "the sippy cup test," wherein I will observe a parent getting her toddler a cup of milk in the morning. If the child says, "I want the pink sippy cup, not the blue!" yet the mum has already poured the milk into the blue sippy cup, I watch carefully to see how the parent reacts. More often than not, the mum's face whitens and she rushes to get the preferred sippy cup before the child has a tantrum. Fail! What are you afraid of, mum? Who is in charge here? Let her have a tantrum, and remove yourself so you don't have to hear it. But for goodness' sake, don't make extra work for yourself just to please her -- and even more importantly, think about the lesson it teaches if you give her what she wants because she's thrown a fit.

2. A lowered bar. 
When children misbehave, whether it's by way of public outburst or private surliness, parents are apt to shrug their shoulders as if to say, "That's just the way it is with kids." I assure you, it doesn't have to be. Children are capable of much more than parents typically expect from them, whether it's in the form of proper manners, respect for elders, chores, generosity or self-control. You don't think a child can sit through dinner at a restaurant? Rubbish. You don't think a child can clear the table without being asked? Rubbish again! The only reason they don't behave is because you haven't shown them how and you haven't expected it! It's that simple. Raise the bar and your child shall rise to the occasion.

3. We've lost the village. 
It used to be that bus drivers, teachers, shopkeepers and other parents had carte blanche to correct an unruly child. They would act as the mum and dad's eyes and ears when their children were out of sight, and everyone worked towards the same shared interest: raising proper boys and girls. This village was one of support. Now, when someone who is not the child's parent dares to correct him, the mum and dad get upset. They want their child to appear perfect, and so they often don't accept teachers' and others' reports that he is not. They'll storm in and have a go at a teacher rather than discipline their child for acting out in class. They feel the need to project a perfect picture to the world and unfortunately, their insecurity is reinforced because many parents do judge one another. If a child is having a tantrum, all eyes turn on the mum disapprovingly. Instead she should be supported, because chances are the tantrum occurred because she's not giving in to one of her child's demands. Those observers should instead be saying, "Hey, good work -- I know setting limits is hard."

4. A reliance on shortcuts. 
I think it's wonderful that parents have of all sorts of electronics to help them through airline flights and long waits at the doctor's office. It's equally fabulous that we can order our groceries online for delivery, and heat up healthy-ish food at the touch of a button on the microwave. Parents are busier than ever, and I'm all for taking the easy way when you need it. But shortcuts can be a slippery slope. When you see how wonderful it is that Cayou can entertain your child on a flight, don't be tempted to put it on when you are at a restaurant. Children must still learn patience. They must still learn to entertain themselves. They must still learn that not all food comes out steaming hot and ready in three minutes or less, and ideally they will also learn to help prepare it. Babies must learn to self-soothe instead of sitting in a vibrating chair each time they're fussy. Toddlers need to pick themselves up when they fall down instead of just raising their arms to mum and dad. Show children that shortcuts can be helpful, but that there is great satisfaction in doing things the slow way too.

5. Parents put their children's needs ahead of their own. 
Naturally, parents are wired to take care of their children first, and this is a good thing for evolution! I am an advocate of adhering to a schedule that suits your child's needs, and of practices like feeding and clothing your children first. But parents today have taken it too far, completely subsuming their own needs and mental health for the sake of their children. So often I see mums get up from bed again and again to fulfill the whims of their child. Or dads drop everything to run across the zoo to get their daughter a drink because she's thirsty. There is nothing wrong with not going to your child when she wants yet another glass of water at night. There's nothing wrong with that dad at the zoo saying, "Absolutely you can have something to drink, but you must wait until we pass the next drinking fountain. "There is nothing wrong with using the word "No" on occasion, nothing wrong with asking your child to entertain herself for a few minutes because mummy would like to use the toilet in private or flick through a magazine for that matter.

I fear that if we don't start to correct these five grave parenting mistakes, and soon, the children we are raising will grow up to be entitled, selfish, impatient, and rude adults. It won't be their fault -- it will be ours. We never taught them any differently, we never expected any more of them. We never wanted them to feel any discomfort, and so when they inevitably do, they are woefully unprepared for it. So please, parents and caregivers from London to Los Angeles, and all over the world, ask more. Expect more. Share your struggles. Give less. And let's straighten these children out, together, and prepare them for what they need to be successful in the real world and not the sheltered one we've made for them.

source: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-jenner/modern-day-parenting-in-c_b_5552527.html

Characteristics Checklist for Gifted Children

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Provides a characteristics checklist for teachers and parents looking for signs of giftedness in young children

OFTEN THE EARLIEST identification of gifted children takes place by simple observation of the child's behaviour by an educational professional, a parent or friend. Far from undermined by being subjective, identification by characteristic traits is generally accurate, and is less intrusive or conspicuous than other methods. It also readily allows types of giftedness to be detected, and is often valuably used with young children. Nonetheless subjective elements are certainly involved particularly in comparisons with other children of the same age.

The following lists were adapted from one compiled from various sources. Note it is not expected that any gifted child will show all the traits listed in any section.

Characteristic traits are listed by broad category of giftedness. These are:

• general intellectual ability
• specific academic aptitude
• creative thinking and production
• leadership
• psychomotor ability
• visual and performing arts

General intellectual ability

• is an avid reader
• has avid interest in science or literature
• provides very alert, rapid answers to questions
• has a wide range of interests
• is secure emotionally
• is venturesome, wanting to do new things
• tends to dominate peers or situations
• is an entrepreneur - readily makes money on various projects or activities
• needs little outside control - applies self discipline
• is resourceful - solving problems by ingenious methods
• is creative in new ideas, seeing associations, pursuing innovations
• displays a great curiosity about objects, situations or events
• has the capacity to look into things and be puzzled
• is involved with many exploratory type activities
• reveals originality in oral and written expression
• is perceptually open to his or her environment
• displays a willingness to accept complexity
• has the capacity to use knowledge and information other than to memorise
• shows superior judgement in evaluating things
• is a good guesser
• makes good grades in most subjects
• learns rapidly, easily and efficiently
• uses a lot of commonsense
• retains and uses information which has been heard or read
• uses a large number of words easily and accurately
• asks many questions of a provocative nature
• has a power of abstraction, conceptualisation and synthesis
• has an interest in cause-effect relations
• has a liking for structure, order and consistency
• has a power of concentration, an intense attention that excludes all else
• is persistent
• has a high energy level
• is independent
• is friendly and outgoing

Specific academic aptitude

• shows similar characteristics to general intellectual ability but concentrated around one or a few fields
• has a long attention span in areas of interest
• learns rapidly, easily and with less repetition in one or a few specific areas (probably not all subject areas)
• likes or loves one or a few areas of knowledge
• likes to study some subjects more than others
• spends time voluntarily beyond ordinary assignments on projects of interest to him or her
• is able to extend learning from these key areas to various situations somewhat unrelated in orientation
• is able to show broad perspective on one or more subject areas
• is able to judge own and others' relative abilities in key areas of interest
• seeks assistance of others beyond his or age peers in extending knowledge in areas of interest

Creative thinking and production

• is fluent in producing and elaborating on ideas
• makes unusual associations between remote ideas
• is flexible in thinking patterns
• senses when problems exist
• acts spontaneously, intuitively
• tolerates ambiguity and uncertainty
• senses inconsistencies and discontinuities
• readily guesses and makes hypotheses
• juggles or redefines elements of a problem or task
• can show intense concentration on a task
• retains own ideas in a discussion or collaboration
• provides multiple solutions or responses to problems
• is uninhibited in expression, sometimes radical
• is intellectually playful, interested in fantasy, imagination
• always trying to adapt or improve things
• has a keen sense of humour, seeing humour in situations others don't
• doesn't mind being different
• doesn't accept authoritarian pronouncements without own judgement
• asks provocative questions, challenges parents, teachers, written and other authorities
• is bored with memorisation and recitation
• displays energy, sometimes disruptively
• produces unexpected, sometimes "silly" responses
• is considered, and perhaps resented, by some peers as "crazy"
• can show unusual degrees of originality, concentration and persistent hard work on projects that capture their interest and imagination

Leadership

• can stimulate and arouse others
• organises others
• recognises skills and abilities possessed by others
• interacts with others easily showing social skills
• recognises and can articulate the goals of a group
• can articulate ideas clearly
• can listen to others empathetically
• understands how people feel and how groups function
• can give directions clearly and effectively
• exercises authority reliably and responsibly
• can adopt non-leadership roles within a group
• can establish the mood of a group
• supports others in a group when appropriate
• can coordinate the work of several individuals
• is often asked for ideas and suggestions
• is looked to by others when something must be decided

Psychomotor ability

• is rhythmic
• is athletic
• likes to play physically
• has a suitable body build
• is coordinated, balanced and confident in physical activities
• is inventive in constructing or modifying games
• is energetic
• is able to understand the intellectual aspects of psychomotor activities
• demonstrates endurance, stamina and persistence in physical activities
• demonstrates prowess in physical activities common amongst age peers

Visual and performing arts

Music

• has good sense of rhythm
• is well-coordinated
• discriminates musical and other sounds well
• understands musical relationships
• enjoys musical activities and demonstrates musical feeling
• shows tonal memory
• responds readily to rhythm, melody and harmony
• uses music to express feeling or experience
• makes up original tunes
• enjoys dance and dramatic activities with musical elements

Dramatics

• demonstrates interest and enjoyment in dramatic activities
• readily shifts into role of another character, animal or object
• uses voice to reflect changes in mood
• demonstrates understanding of conflict when acting out a dramatic event
• communicates feelings by means of facial expressions, gestures and bodily movements
• enjoys evoking emotional responses from listeners
• demonstrates ability to dramatise feelings and experiences
• brings a dramatic situation to a climax with a well-timed ending when telling a story

Art

• draws a variety of objects
• puts depth into drawing, showing planning and good proportion
• treats art seriously and enjoys it
• shows originality in modes of undertaking art
• is willing to try out new materials and experiences
• pursues art in spare time
• uses art to express feelings and experiences
• is interested in other people's art, both appreciating it and criticising it
• likes to model three dimensionally with clay, soap carving, plasticine etc

Where Do Babies Come From? Useful Tips To Help You Talk To Your Child Part 1

When junior drops the big question on your bulging bellies, what do you say to him or her? What do we say?

Here are 5 useful tops for parents to talk to their child about where babies come from.

1. Use proper labels

We ought to begin teaching our children about sex and their sexuality from the time of their birth. And this begins with simple labeling of their anatomy. For the record, boys have penis and not “ku-ku-bird” or a “pee-pee” or “birdy”. Girls have a vagina (and actually the vagina is only part of the female genitalia; it actually is called the vulva) and not a “wee-wee” or a “peach” or a “hamburger”. Proper labeling will lay the ground foundation for future discussions.

I bumped into my niece and nephew one Saturday evening when my sister and brother-in-law took them out for a family dinner. As I was about five months pregnant, my niece who was 4 years old jumped out of her chair and asked me excitedly, “Yee Yee (which means aunty), do you have a baby in your womb?” I was amazed at how she knew the word “womb” at the age of four!

My sister then explained that she bought a child-appropriate storybook to introduce the subject to her. My sister and brother-in-law insisted on proper labeling of their children’s anatomy and body parts at a young age and indeed has helped their children to learn properly and made it easier for them as parents to introduce the subject when needed.

2. Be comfortable to discuss the topic

Because modeling a healthy relationship between men and women is every bit as important as the actual conversations we have with our kids about sex, the first task we must approach as parents is exploring and discussing our own beliefs and feelings about the subject. Do discuss the subject between you and your spouse first, and process any fears you may have about raising the subject as honest as you can before approaching your child on the issue.

If we cant be comfortable talking about the subject between the husband and wife, how can we expect that our child will be comfortable to bring up the subject with us? Working out on our own issues as parents with our pasts and with each other about sex and sexuality will allow us to be a blessing to our children, and that we will be able to talk to our children effectively.

Think of how much less afraid our children will feel if they knew that their parents have experienced the same feelings and can model how to deal with them in a healthier way. If need be, age-appropriately, be willing to share your story and journey with them. Let them know that they are not alone, and that you wish to help them to overcome the challenges.

3. Go beyond the birds and the bees

Most parents say too little, or too late. Even if they successfully transmit information about the biology of sex, most parents considered that the case is closed and issue is resolved. They don’t realize that our children will continue to question and learn about sex and sexuality through what they observe around them as they grow up. It is very crucial for parents to take the conversation to the next level.

What I mean by taking it to the next level is to teach and model healthy male and female relationships. By doing so, this will create a vision in our children’s minds and hearts on how a rich and fully developed relationship that married couples can enjoy looks like. If you are remarried or are living alone, you can still do a good job in educating your kids about healthy sexuality. While it is good for a child to hear about sexuality from both a man and a woman at the same time, that is not always possible, even for married couples.

Taking it to the next level would also mean to take the opportunity for parents to communicate about our values about sex gently to our children. Although they may not understand or adopt these values when they are older, at least they will be aware of them as they struggle to figure out how they feel and want to behave.

4. Give accurate, age-appropriate information

“It is important to discern at what stage of understanding and maturity the child is at before deciding on how much to share.” Page, 42-year-old teacher and a mother of two teenagers 16 and 14 years old advised. This is important. Talk about sex in a way that fits the age and stage of your child. A four-year-old doesn’t need to know every detail of the sexual acts, but you can lay a solid foundation for later.

5. Whose responsibility is it?

It is a myth that only a woman can talk to a female child and only a man can talk to a male child. Some of the most wonderful conversations take place between a mother and her son or between a father and his daughter. This would illustrate to children that men and women don’t need to be a mystery to each other, and that in many ways, our sexual needs are not entirely different. Establishing a pattern of talking freely with any of your children on any subject will serve you well as they mature and will enable you to have a series of ongoing, productive conversations.

While there maybe moments that you may correctly sense that your child may wish to speak to someone of the same gender, same-sex gender perspectives can sometimes help a child, especially adolescents and teenagers, to feel more comfortable and possibly less embarrassed.

You may find it helpful to have also someone of the opposite sex, someone whom you have a mature nonsexual relationship with, to serve as a role model and guide for your child. Your parents, pastor, church elders, child’s coaches, child’s cell leaders or teachers may be excellent candidates. But remembering that you will still be the one who will have most of the conversations with your child. There is no reason you cannot be the best resource for your child. We can be effectively well equipped to answer their questions, and to support them in this journey.

source: http://thenewageparents.com/where-do-babies-come-from-part-1/

Details of KidsSTOP Unveiled

by littledayout.com on 21/02/2014 - 11:59 pm

Donning a red KidsSTOP cap, on 18 February 2014, Science Centre Singapore’s Chief Executive, Associate Professor Lim Tit Meng, used augmented reality to walkthrough the different zones of KidsSTOP, the new children’s science centre scheduled to open on 5 June 2014.

Designed to spark the interest of children aged 18 months to eight years old in science, KidsSTOP will comprise different zones and areas, centred around the four tenets of Imagine, Experience, Discover and Dream.

The Built Environment Zone will be fashioned after a bustling construction site where children can operate a mechanised crane and experience different aspects of construction. It will feature a magnetic wall with movable pipes and ramps for children to create their own structures and introduce concepts such as gear ratios and energy transfer. The Built Environment Zone is sponsored by the Building and Construction Authority.

At the Supermarket, children will be able to take on roles such as cashiers, customers, chefs and street vendors. This zone will introduce them how different food items are produced and the importance of good nutrition.

The Dino Pit will give kids a chance to become a paleontologist and search for dinosaur bones. They will be able to learn about common dinosaurs and how to classify them.

The Flight and Space Zone, sponsored by the Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore, will allow chilren to create their own flying machines and even their designs in a wind tunnel. Here, they will be able to learn the science behind flight and also role-play as pilots and ground crew.

Active young ones will enjoy scaling the Big Dream Climber, a nine-metre climbing structure with unique hanging elements such as suspended leaves, flying fish and fanciful, hanging doors. Adventurous ones can take on the Giant J, a seven-metre slide that will allow them to experience free-fall for an instant before sliding to safety.

In addition to other learning zones, facilities at KidsSTOP will also include The Party Room, an open space with a stage for performances and a room in the corner that can be rented out for birthday celebrations. Very young children will be able to enjoy Small and Smaller Worlds, a dedicated space for them that will include a Nursing Alcove.

Associate Professor Lim said, “We are very excited about the development of KidsSTOP, a dedicated facility for younger children. It will tap on their natural curiosity at a critical stage of development as they discover the world around them through discovery and play.”

Do You Make Your Employees Too Valuable Too Fast? Many of you have these jobs in your organizations.  You fill them with new (or nearly new) graduates, either from college or a particular technical school certification or licensure.  Then you expose them to a year, maybe 18 months, of intense training and development, after which they are prepared to assume a critical role and set of responsibilities. Or be lured away by a talent competitor for significantly more money. These employees could be manufacturing technicians or nurses.  They might work in the physical sciences or account management.  What they have in common - regardless of their role or your industry - is that you have invested time, energy and resources into making them very valuable, and now your pay program may be preventing you from paying them commensurate with that value.  That annual 3% merit opportunity simply won't cut it in these circumstances. Situations like this often drive a lot of fire fighting, a lot of adhoc market adjustment activity.  Unfortunately, this type of reactive approach only feeds employees' perceptions (and the possible truth) that the organization doesn't recognize how valuable they are.  That they must take matters into their own hands in order to get paid what they're worth; not a tough thing to do when the recruiters start calling. Do you make your employees too valuable too fast?  First of all, congratulations!  Likely you've invested a lot in defining the competencies required for success in an important role and you're delivering the necessary training experiences to get employees there quickly.  Well done you!  Now let's make sure you aren't undermining that investment with your pay practices. Here are a few thoughts on tackling that challenge. Gather data to understand the problem.  Start by collecting the data necessary to get a clear understanding of the nature and scope of the problem.  You might look at your market adjustment activity, information on departures, counter-offers and what can be gleaned from exit interviews.  Is this a more general and diffused issue - or is it concentrated in a particular job or job family?  Is compensation really the driving force behind quits and threatened quits, or are there other forces at work? Seek market reference points to confirm the value trajectory.  If you are indeed hiring "fresh outs" and losing them 12-18 months later, and you have confirmed that compensation is a significant factor, focus on the kind of market reference points that will help you understand the value trajectory that these employees take during the first critical years.  Career centers at educational institutions often have information on new grad job offers, allowing you to confirm the starting point.  Then try pricing the kinds of jobs to which they are fleeing.  Note that these might be very different roles in very different organizations from yours.  Use this to estimate the typical net change in value for these employees through and following their development period. Audit/adjust pay policies and practices accordingly.  If you have an employee group where, thanks to your training efforts, the market value needle is moving at a rate that "regular" merit increases - or even merit plus promotional combos - can't possibly match, you've created a poaching risk.  Time to consider carving out this job - or job family - for a different approach.  This might be a tighter series of more narrow salary ranges, coupled with an accelerated salary review process, allowing employees to move both through and up as they hit developmental milestones.  Or it might be a defined set of salary steps overlaid on a the regular salary range, allowing a rapid progression through the first 12-18 months (again, assuming development and performance milestones are met), after which they can be rolled back into the regular cycle and process.  Or something else still. How have you responded to situations where you've made employees too valuable too fast?  What advice and experience can you share? Ann Bares is the Founder and Editor of the Compensation Café,  Author of Compensation Force and Managing Partner of Altura Consulting Group LLC, where she provides compensation consulting to a range of client organizations.  Ann serves as President of the Twin Cities Compensation Network (the most awesome local reward network on the planet) and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Compensation & Benefits Review, the leading journal for those who design, implement, evaluate and communicate total rewards.  She earned her M.B.A. at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School, is a foodie and bookhound in her spare time. Follow her on Twitter at @annbares. Creative Commons image "Arrows showing up" by FutUndBeidl

Talking To Kids About Sex And Porn

Nothing makes parents more squeamish than thinking about talking to their kids about sex. Truth is, we never know when our children may ask us that question. How will you reply them when that day comes? We can start by slowing introducing and talking to their children about the different body parts, including the female and male genitals, using the proper terms.

Now imagine you need to talk to your kids about porn. With the arrival of smart phones, porn can be accessible within the palms of your child’s hand. Whether we like it or not, our kids are going to encounter or hear the word one way or another, intentionally or unintentionally. It is not ideal that kids watch or consume porn, but if they happen to, they would need adult guidance.

Clearly, you don’t want the first conversation you have with your kid about sex to be about porn. Therefore, talk to your kid about sex NOW.

With young children, sex talks involve identifying their body parts by their correct anatomical name. Reading books about the human body can also help to get the conversations going. These are body parts that all humans have, and there is a reason behind each body part. It may be very awkward at the beginning. But the more experience you and child have, the easier it will be to talk about it.

As a family counselling therapist, I have many parents calling me with their concerns, who seek for my advice when they realize their child has been surfing pornography online. Working pre-emptively about porn is a parent’s best strategy. You want your child coming to you to learn more about sex, and preferably not through friends, the internet or pornography.

Dr. Marty Klein, a Sex Therapist and Marriage counsellor from the US sheds some light about pornography. Parents can educate their children about the points below when they are old enough to understand.

• It is not real. Porn is a group of professional actors and actresses who follow a written script and play characters, just like in other movies.
• Porn is like a video game, designed to entertain.
• It is not a documentary. It has a lot of editing and it is designed to thrill.
• Porn does not portray sex the way it really is. It leaves out a lot of what most people like about sex— the emotional aspects such as laughing, talking, and feeling close. Instead, porn is mostly physical, and show bodies rubbing against bodies, which is sex without feelings.
• Porn features unusual bodies doing unusual things. Your body doesn’t, and probably will never look like the bodies in porn.

If you need additional help or guidance for your child, going to your health counsellor or psychologist will be a great place to get accurate information and advice.

By Tammy M. Fontana, Lead Therapist, All in The Family Counselling

This article was first published in The New Age Parents Oct / Nov 2013 e-magazine